Mother's Day

 I can't believe today is my second Mother's Day! It still amazes me that after all the years waiting and unsuccessful attempts to get pregnant - both with and without medical assistance - that Ella is really mine. That she is really here. That I am a Mama.

There's a line in the movie As Good As It Gets, where one character says to the other, "You make me want to be a better person." Initially I shrugged the sentence off as a fabricated bit of movie drama but I was so wrong. Ella creates that desire in me every day. Her arrival brought that need into sharp focus.  Not in a sense of being right or wrong as a parent - because really, I mess up more than I don't - but I now have a goal of constantly searching for ways to become more fully me. So in turn Ella can become everything God meant her to be.

It certainly didn't happen overnight but somehow all the grief and anger about the "not normal" road we traveled to become parents has vanished. Every single bitter piece has been replaced by gratefulness and joy. Talk about a miracle! I am thankful I was not able to bear a child - because if I had, I would not have been blessed with Ella. She is completely my child.

In fact, just the other day at the gym, I was given an opportunity to rejoice all over again in my daughter and the circumstances which brought her to us.

While waiting for a class to begin, Ella and I were playing with several other children. One little boy kept looking at me, then at Ella, then at me, then at Ella. Finally he asked me, "Is that your daughter?"

I said simply, "Yes," wanting to know why he was asking.

He looked at us both for a long time and then said, "Well, she looks different than you."

I heard his mother breathe in a sharp gasp, so I smiled at her and returned my focus to the boy and asked, "How do you think we are different?"

He quickly replied, "Your hair is orange and hers is black. But I guess they are both curly hair..."

I replied, "You are right, our hair is different. Do you want to know why?"

He quickly said, "Yes."

So I told him that the reason Ella and I look different is that she was born in another country and her Daddy and I adopted her and went to go get her and bring her home to live with us.

He immediately shouted, "Cool! My friend at school is adopted!" And, matter resolved to his satisfaction, ran off to rejoin his friends.

His mother looked at me for a couple seconds and said. "That was great, thank you."

I grinned back at her and replied, "No, thank you."

And I meant it.

Untitled Due To Lack Of Brain Power and/or Creativity

Two things come to mind on this damp, chilly Monday.

1. If I don't get some real rest soon, the wheels are gonna fall off in a spectacular fashion.

2. Keisha Martin - whoever you are - your credit must suck. *

* We recently got home phone service and have been inundated with calls for this woman. And by 'inundated' I mean upwards of 20 calls a day. Sometimes when I am bored, I answer the calls, just for fun. Most times I don't and simply keep the ringer off.

Before Ella, Chris and I were both happy only using our cell phones. Then after we brought her home and began hiring babysitters, I started thinking about PSAPs and E911 and told Chris we needed a home phone. You know, because that 5 minutes you spend ON HOLD when you dial 911 from a cell phone could make a Very Big Difference someday. 

Zoo Redux

Isn't "unrealistic" defined as acting in the same manner yet expecting different results? Probably as good a definition as any other I've heard.

Yeah, hi, that's us! We are taking Ella to the zoo today. A *real* zoo, one that isn't free and has more than 5 types of animals. Some readers will remember I posted photos of our first trip to the zoo last summer. A local job with poor upkeep and sad, tired-looking inhabitants. Ella was not impressed. However, she has shown a real interest in animals recently so we made the decision this week to go visit Philly Zoo today.

We actually have sound reasoning behind our plans: weather still comfortable, it's not sweaty-hot yet; Chris has a weekend day off, very rare for this time of year; Ella has no problem napping in the car, and Mama needs a cheesesteak. See? Logical.

It will be fun to see if Ella shows any interest in the animals - who knows with that kid. She changes her mind more than I do. I swear, some days I find myself trying to reason with her and get caught up EXPLAINING MY ACTIONS TO A 20 MONTH OLD. And then I cry.

Right now, she is in the home office dancing to Boogie Nights with her daddy. Help me.